The way I will work with you has to do with the kind of listening that I do, which informs what I will respond to in our session. What I ask of you is that you talk as freely as you can about whatever comes into your mind. The premise is that wherever you start and whatever you say has the common denominator of you, and therefore, wherever you start will lead us where we need to go.

I expect that you will have difficulty saying everything that comes into your mind. There are reasons that certain thoughts are kept out of our awareness or that approaching certain topics brings us to a standstill. It is human nature to want help, but at the same time to have fears about change and even progress. And so, what you do, as well as what you have trouble doing, is a meaningful part of the process.

I anticipate that you will bring in the things that are pertinent to our work together, without preparation or homework. In other words, I only expect you to bring yourself and then I use my training to help us to get to where we need to go. I am not a silent listener. But I will be listening to you for a good bit in a way that is different from a regular conversation.

As I have suggested, I focus closely on the immediacy of our session. The past is very much alive in all of us, shaping much of what we experience in the present, but we will come to understand its relevance through the window of the present, as it emerges in an organic way. Our early experiences and relationships have impacted our view of ourselves and how we relate to others, and it necessitated finding ways to protect ourselves, which may not be useful to us anymore. This is often the source of our symptoms and problems.

Many of these feelings about our self and ways of functioning are not in our awareness and so they cannot be altered or even known by force of will or by reading a self-help book. That is why it takes seeing a therapist who is trained to know what to listen for in a session, how to intervene, and how to help bring about a transformation that may be experienced as greater freedom, more self-confidence and richer and more satisfying relationships and life.